Wednesday, November 5, 2014

I felt like a failure all this week

I'm really sorry that my last email was super short. I wasn't trying to hurt your feelings or anything. I've just had a really, really sucky week and I didn't feel like I had anything worth mentioning from that week in my email, especially since it would sound like basically just venting.

Elder Maughan and I did nothing but search references and contact families and less-actives, all of which we gave to the Elders actually assigned to Waspan Sur and Waspan Norte. They never actually used the references we gave them, so I basically felt useless in that aspect. On top of that, we found a bunch of less-actives who we committed to church, but then we both had divisions on Sunday and couldn't pass by their houses to remind them to get ready. So, we gave the references to the Elders already working here, but they never passed by. I was in Tipitapa (east of Managua) all Sunday, so I couldn't have passed by even if I wanted to. Of course, none of them came to church.
Me and Elder Spence in Tipitapa

I felt like a failure all this week.

Today, I was given 30 minutes notice to pack my bags and head back to Tipitapa for a longer stay. I'm taking over the training of a new Elder here named Elder Spence. His comp, Elder Christian, was in my CCM group. Last week, he had the flu real bad and fainted off the top bunk, smacking his head and getting a concussion. He fainted five more times that day. He crashed his car two years ago and wasn't expected to live, but by the grace of God he survived. He still has minor brain damage though. So, they sent him home for medical reasons today, and I've been assigned to take over his area and train his comp. This is for an indeterminate period of time, and neither the AP's nor President will tell me for how long, who will be the new District Leader, or if I'm even still going to Puerto Cabezas. To be honest, it feels like more of a false hope at this point.
New Area

I'm exhausted and nobody will give me definite answers for anything. Elder Spence doesn't even know his area, so we're trying to explore and find out where everything is here. Thanks to some other Elders' recent shenanigans here (an Elder here proposed to one of his recent converts-- but he's still serving his mission), a bunch of people here including recent converts hate the Elders and the church right now for its 'bad example.'

I'm just trying to get a grasp on things. Neither Elder Maughan nor Elder Spence speak good Spanish, so I've been doing 90% of the teaching for the past week and a half. It's gotten me nowhere and the hard work that Maughan and I actually accomplished was basically thrown in the garbage by the other Elders. I feel terrible and super discouraged and I was looking forward to your email because it gives me a big boost for the rest of the week but now I feel terrible again because my email wasn't that long and I let you guys down too.

-Zach

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